


I wanna be out there, with you

by tasteofglitter



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-09
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasteofglitter/pseuds/tasteofglitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>How an earth I can do this to him?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	I wanna be out there, with you

_April 2nd 2015_

I don't know what I should do; cry or laugh. I do know though, that this is not easy for us, to fight against the world. He always said that love will overcome hate, but is love really so much stronger than hate? I mean, I love him from the bottom of my heart and I want to live with him forever, but... Sometimes I'm afraid that this is too much for us. That he will get tired of waiting. I want to be able to touch him and kiss him in public. I want to feel his love on my skin when we're out there. It's just that I'm a little boy from Arkansas and I’m in this big and scary city of Los Angeles.

Don't get me wrong; if he asks me to shout my love for him out there to whole world, I would do it without a doubt. But I also know that he would never ask me to do that.  
I want to be able to feel him inside me, and I want to be able to show him how much he has changed my life through the years. It kills me to see him out with other guys, just because I'm too afraid to go with him. Even though I know he is coming back home to me, it still breaks my heart. It's not easy to love like this; it hurts but feels good at the same time. I know I'm being selfish, but I don't want to lose him. The fact that he is back in closet because of _me_... Oh my god, he is back in closet because of me. I... How an earth I can do this to him?

 _April 4th 2015_

I’m back on track again. I kinda freaked out when I realized all of what he's doing for me, and that I’m the one doing this to him, keeping him trapped. He came home and found me crying on our bed. Yeah, that kinda freaked _him_ out. But we talked and he said that I'm stupid and that he's not back in the closet, it's just my own crazy imagination that thinks that. And okay, I can admit that, but still I have this little feeling inside of me that says he would be happier if things would be another way, if we were out there together. I'm trying to find that courage in me, but it's so deep in there that it will take some time.

He said to me last night that, I should remember that we are together in this. We will fight together and we will win. Then he looked at me the way he does when he knows he is right. I think that it's my fight though. Like it's me who is still in the closet, not him. It's me who is making all these ridiculous excuses why I can't be out. I have been thinking lately that the love that I get from him should give me all the strength I need. It's powerful, but my mind is stronger, has to stronger in order to get through this. I have been thinking of how much easier his life would be without me, and of course I was stupid and told him that. He looked at me and asked if I was serious. Then without waiting for my answer he walked out of the house. I slept alone.

 _April 6th 2015_

We had a big fight about that the other day. It was our first one and it frightened the shit out of me. I thought he was going to leave me. So I made my decision: I will come out of my closet soon.  
Mostly cause I don't want to lose the one I love the most. He has this award show that he is going to attend, but he doesn't know yet that I'm going to go with him. I'm going to show the whole world how much I love Adam fucking Lambert and how proud I am to be with him. I want to kiss him on the red carpet and I want to hold his hand when all those photographers take their pictures. I want him to be proud of me.

\----------------------------------------------

Kris put his notebook away and smiled himself. _Oh yeah, this will be so good._

 _Two days later..._

Adam tried not to collapse on his knees. "You are doing what?" He looked at Kris with shock reading in his eyes.

"I'm coming with you tonight." Kris said with a light kiss on Adams lips. "I'm going to show the world how much I love you."

 **TBC..**

**Author's Note:**

> First fic for me to publish, second fic what I have written. (if you're thinking what happened to my first fic, it's coming, later) I'm still a newbie, still learning. It would be cool, if someday I could write fics as good as everyone else in here.


End file.
